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| How to Remodel Your Home Without Demolishing Your Marriage |
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The emotional tax during a remodel is very real, indeed. Yet because there is little available information about it we tend to take the hard rout. We think, "Oh, it's not as bad as other people make it out to be!" or "If we don't make a big deal about it, everything will be just fine." And, actually, what choice do we have?
Less than halfway into it, many couples realize that not only is there a huge emotional side to their project, but that it is far bigger than they had imagined it could be. We have all heard about couples who divorced, or nearly separated, after building their dream home. Answers to the question of "why" are limitless, but the bottom line is this: if they knew what to expect and/or had some guidance, they may have still liked each other once their home was finished. Remodelling is a huge deal, and it is not for the faint of heart or the uninformed. Even if you have a very strong marriage, there are likely to be emotional side-effects you would rather avoid, and could, if you exercise the care necessary ahead of time.
Because of my own challenges with this personal aspect to remodelling, I had searched everywhere including book stores under home-construction; home-remodelling, and even the self-help aisle. But I found little that paid the slightest attention to the emotional fallout of home-remodelling. It was just as frustrating to search on-line for any comprehensive guidance that could arm couples ahead of time. All I was looking for was something that would both confirm, and ease, the impact home-remodelling has on domestic life and -not least of all- on marriage.
Remodelling is a multi-layered entity to say the least. There is the physical project which is worth many, many layers all by itself, and then there is real-life before, during, and after the project. As involved as the project will be, your relationship needs equal care and consideration.
I sincerely hope that this article will aid in revealing some common (though not so strange) issues before they become problematic, and lessen the element of disappointment in those you can not foresee.
The sense of accomplishment that comes with witnessing your project to its completion can be very satisfying indeed. The greater reward of such projects, however, is the sense that the experience has brought you and your spouse closer together; that you can enjoy looking back on it ALL with more pleasure than pain; and that the great care you took of your relationship will fill your new home with the natural air of completion, and comfort. These are memories in the making for you both, so it is important to be aware of what is happening between you as you grow your new home together.
My goal is to help you position yourselves for offering greater kindness to one another throughout your entire building process.
